SUMMARY OF THE LECTURE ON A SINGLE WORD “ROMANCE”

Romance is a way of “Showing” strong feelings of love to the one you love.
Being Romantic is an emotional way of proving your words to your spouse.
A person can be in love but not romantic and a person can be romantic but not in love. Love is not romance and romance is not love, so the best of marriages are those that contain both love and romance covered with affection! 
The Prophet (P.B.U.H) said,

The best of you are the best to their wives and I am the best of you to my wives (sahih al- Bukhari).
The Prophet clearly showed us here that he is the most romantic, caring, loving and sweetest husband to his wives. What a lovely hadith.
Even Allah Himself said,

Hunna libasun laqum wa antum libasun lahunna.

(They are garments for you and you are garments for them).
What better way can romance be described?
Many couples today are not romantic to each other, they only kiss each other during

copulation, they only hug each other when they receive good news. The husband only put food

in his wife’s mouth when she is sick and too weak to eat by herself, the wife only buys gifts and provisions for her husband when he is hospitalized. They don’t even

exchange love SMS’, the only text they exchange is “please call me”.
These are couples who feel its “Childish” to be romantic, they take life so serious that they are either discussing PDP and APC or how to solve the problems in the house. The husband merely sees the wife as a baby making machine, therefore, he only goes to her when he needs another child.
The wife too only sees her husband as a drilling

machine, she only entices him when she is horny and needs some drilling. 
They share the same bed every night yet they turn their backs on each other when sleeping and snoring. Rather than enjoying the marriage, they merely endure each other. Yet when this two see romance being displayed on TV, they secretly admire it.
Sheik Uthaymeen, Rahimahullah said,

The wife becomes happy with her husband when he fulfils his duty, SHOWS HER LOVE, helps her and vice versa. 

(al’liqaa as’shari p40)

.

When a couple is not romantic, even if they

claim to love each other, the love withers away gradually. Love in the heart is like a seed planted on the farm. If you don’t irrigate it (with

romance), it will slowly dry up and die away, until you begin to see your spouse as nothing but a mere liability.
The prophet Salallahu Alayhi Wassalam said, Trust in Allah but tie your camel. (sunan Tirmidhi 1925).
Don’t just rely on Allah that he will sustain your marriage, put in your efforts to make the marriage last.
Sheik Saalih al-Fawzaan:

Marry a loving woman who will love her man. Don’t marry a dry woman who doesn’t.

 (Al ittihaf p 875)
Dear Abu,

If you are not romantic towards your wife, do not

complain that she wears rags all over the house. Why will she adorn herself for you, when you won’t even look at her or give her a compliment?
At times, some wives will spend hours plaiting a very stressful but beautiful hairstyle just to please their husbands, when the husband comes home, he won’t even notice the new hair because he doesn’t CARE!!
Sometimes your wife spends hours preparing a

delicious meal, she inhales smoke, pepper and onion, at the end you will only eat the food and belch. No compliments. If one day her food is salty, you will tongue lash her. What kind of a husband are you who never sees good things but only the bad things?
Shaykh Raslan Said,
Women are very fragile, if you utter a wrong word she will run away from you, if you utter a good word, she will come and sit next to you.

(Mu’asharatun Nisa’a)
Brother, go to the market and buy sexy undies for her

like spaghetti, G-strings and leggings, if you still see her wearing wrapper, tell her to come, when she comes standing in front of you, remove the wrapper and tear it to pieces and tell her, “go and use those new undies I bought for you” But if you know you didn’t shop for her recently, please don’t tear her wrapper oooo, else you won’t see meat in your food for the next two weeks.
Dear Sisters,

Learn to be romantic, don’t stop being romantic simply because your husband is not. Two wrongs do not make a right. Don’t get tired of looking good for him.
Many women begin to wear extra large pants after having just two kids. An extra large pant is not seductive please, its like wearing a basket. Am very serious :evil:. Some extra large pants needs slimming. Farting on an extra large pant makes it larger, like the adult pampers in hospitals. It’s an eye sore please. Wear something sexier.
Dear Ummi, know when to demand for some things. For instance, if you have Apollo (Conjunctivitis), don’t go to your husband and say, “habeebi (my love), look into my eyes and tell me you love me” How will he look into your eyes when you have apollo?
Many couples do not care about pleasing each other at all. They don’t adorn themselves for each other.

When they have to discuss at night, they need to stylishly move far from each other because of smelly mouths since they refuse to brush before sleeping.
The Prophet and Aisha were so romantic that they even used the same brush. Aisha radiAllahu anha said, The Prophet would use siwaak, then he would give me to wash. I would use it first, then wash it and give it back to him. 

(Abu Dawood 1/45)
Spouses should learn to tickle and poke each other. Pinch his bombom, scratch his ribs or his toes, it will make him laugh uncontrollably. Call each other with sweet names. The prophet sometimes shorten Aisha’s name to

“Aeesh” or Humaira.
Abdur Rahman bin Abu- bakr said, My father, Abu Bakr Siddiq once hosted some of the ahlu suffah. He asked my mother to serve them food, whenever we took a morsel, the food will grow bigger. Abu bakr said to his wife, Oh sister of Banu Firas, what is this? She said, ya Qurratu Ayn, (oh you pleasure of my eyes), the food has increased thrice in quantity.

(Bukhari, Muslim).
If all muslim men give their muslim women their rights in full, there will be no disbelieving woman on earth who would not respect Muslim women.
Finally,

Men should learn to call their wives in romantic ways. Stop calling her “mama Sikira”.

Women too should learn to address their husbands with sweet names, do not save your husbands phone number with “Baban Ali or Dauda”  Please try to use words like my heart or my king and others.
Brothers and sisters my interest in this statement is to eradicate Divorce in our homes completely. *May Allah bless our married couples. For those who are still on the process, may Allah bless you with good and rightful spouses.

Ameen.

​DO NOT EAT FOOD OF THE HARAAM FESTIVAL CALLED CHRISTMAS!

Gathered by Abu Mardiy Kewdirôrun At-thaqoofiy 

Praise be to Allaah and blessings of Allaah be upon His Messenger and Chosen Prophet.
It is permissible for a Muslim to accept gifts from the kuffaar or to give them gifts, especially if they are relatives.
It was narrated that Aboo Humayd As-Saa’idi said: We went on campaign with the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) to Tabook, and the king of Aelia gave the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) a  white mule and a cloak, and he (the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) approved of him as the ruler of his land. Narrated by Al-Bukhaari (2990).
It was proven that the Sahaabah also accepted gifts from the kuffaar with the permission of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) during his lifetime. 
The mother of Asmaa’ bint Abee Bakr – who was a mushrikah – visited her daughter and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) gave permission to Asmaa’ (may Allaah be pleased with her) to uphold ties of kinship with her. 
And it was proven that ‘Umar bn Al-Khattaab gave a suit to his brother who was a mushrik, both hadeeth are narrated in As-Saheehayn .
With regard to gifts given on their festivals, it is not permissible to give or accept them, because that is venerating their festivals and expressing approval of them and helping them in their kufr.
The scholars of the Standing Committee said: It is not permissible for the Muslim to eat foods that the Jews, Christians and Mushrikoon make for their festivals. 
It is not permissible either for a Muslim to accept such things that are given to them on the occasion of their festivals, because that implies honouring them and cooperating with them in manifesting their symbols and propagating their innovations and sharing their happiness on the days of their festivals. 
That may also lead to taking their festivals as festivals for us too, or to exchanging invitations to meals or to give gifts on one another’s festivals at the very least. 
This is a kind of deviation and innovation in religion, it was proven that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever introduces anything into this matter of ours that is not part of it, will have it rejected.” 
And it is not permissible to give them anything on the occasion of their festivals. See: Al-Lajnatu Ad-Daa’imah, (22/398).
Like it was stated in my previous post that it is not permissible for the Muslim to take religious matters lightly, he must practise his religion openly. 
They practise their religion openly and display its symbols during these festivals; we should also openly reject their gifts and refuse to join them and help them in that, this is one of the teachings of our religion.
May Almighty Allaah save us from innovation and imitating the disbelievers.

Societal ills and Debts or loans to expand unnecessary businesses

DEBTS A SERIOUS MATTER INDEED!!

By Asma Binte Shameem
In this materialistic world where the focus has become running after the whims and fulfilling whatsoever the heart desires, we tend to lose focus on our real goals and begin taking certain matters that are forbidden or discouraged in Islaam, too lightly.
And the matter of taking loans and being in debt is definitely one of them.

And I am NOT talking about taking an “interest based” loan. That is HARAAM for sure. The kind of loan I am talking about is one without interest……one that does NOT involve riba….. The kind that is allowed, yet discouraged in Islaam.

Many people have a very casual approach to being in debt and take out loans, not for some urgent need but, because they want to expand their businesses or keep up with others in buying new cars or furniture or other temporary luxuries of this life.

Taking loans and being in debt is a GRAVE…..GRAVE matter. Islam takes the matter of debt very seriously and warns against it and urges the Muslim to avoid it as much as possible. And yet, we don’t see it as such.
1) The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) used to seek protection from it

The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) used to say in his prayer:
“Allaahumma inni a’oodhi bika min al-ma’tham wa’l-maghram (O Allaah, I seek refuge with You from sin and heavy debt).” Someone said to him: “How often you seek refuge from heavy debt!” He said: “When a man gets into debt, he speak and tells lies, and he makes a promise and breaks it.” (Bukhaari and Muslim).
2) The person in debt will not enter Paradise until the debt is paid off!

Muhammad ibn Jahsh said: ‘We were sitting with the Messenger of Allaah (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) when he raised his head towards the sky, then he put his palm on his forehead and said: “Subhaan-Allaah! What a strict issue has been revealed to me!” We remained silent and were afraid. The following morning I asked him,
“O Messenger of Allaah, what is this strict issue that has been revealed?” He said, “By the One in Whose hand is my soul, if a man were killed in battle for the sake of Allaah, then brought back to life, then killed and brought back to life again, then killed, and he owed a debt, he would not enter Paradise until his debt was paid off.” (Hasan -al-Nasaa’i).
3) Unnecessary loans is a cause of PUNISHMENT and the WRATH OF ALLAAH!

The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said:
“Whoever asks people for money when he has what is sufficient for him is only asking for more of the embers of Hell.” They asked him, “O Messenger of Allaah, what is sufficient so that he does not have to ask for more?” He said: “Having enough to eat lunch and dinner.” (Abu Dawud- Saheeh).
And he said:
“Whoever asks the people for money when he has what is sufficient for him will come on the Day of Judgment with scratches and lacerations on his face.” (Ahmad).
4) The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) didn’t pray his Janazah

The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) refrained from offering the funeral prayer for someone who had died owing two dinars, until Abu Qataadah (a Sahaabi) promised to pay it off for him. When he saw him the following day he said,
“I have paid it off.” The Prophet said: “Now his skin has become cool for him.” (Hasan-Ahmad)
5) The soul of the one in debt is suspended

The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said:
“The soul of the believer is held hostage by his debt in his grave until it is paid off.” Tirmidhi,
Explaining this hadeeth al-Suyooti said: “It (soul) is detained and kept from reaching its noble destination. Al-‘Iraaqi said: “No judgment is passed as to whether it will be saved or doomed until it is determined whether his debt will be paid off or not.”
5) The one in debt is a prisoner

The debtor is a prisoner, as the Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said:
“Your companion is being detained by his debt.” (hasan-Abu Dawood).
Statements of Sahaabah regarding debt

Umar ibn al-Khattaab said: Beware of debt, for it starts with worry and it ends with war. (Maalik in al-Muwatta).

And Ibn ‘Umar said: “O Humraan, fear Allaah and do not die in debt, lest it be taken from your good deeds when there will be no dinars and no dirhams.”
When is taking a loan permissible?

The Ulama warn us about how difficult the issue of debt is, and that it should not be undertaken except in cases of necessity.

Based on this, there are three conditions for debt to be permissible:

1- The borrower should be determined to repay it.

2- It should be known or thought most likely that he is able to repay it,

3- It should be for something that is permissible according to Sharee’ah.

Ibn ‘Abd al-Barr said:

“The debt for which a person will be kept out of Paradise – and Allaah knows best – is that for which he left behind enough to pay it off but he did not leave instructions to that effect, or he was able to pay it off but did not do so, or he took the loan for some unlawful or extravagant matter and died without having paid it off.

As for the one who took a loan for something lawful because he was poor, and he died without leaving behind anything to pay it off, Allaah will not keep him from Paradise because of it, in sha Allaah.”
So take a loan only when absolutely necessary and if you are in a situation of debt right now, try your utmost best to pay off your debts as soon as possible. Strive hard to pay it off, put your trust in Allaah, and pray to Him to make it easy for you to pay off your debt.

The Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) said:
“The one who takes people’s wealth intending to pay it back, Allaah will pay it back for him, and the one who takes it intending to destroy it, Allaah will destroy him.” (Bukhaari).
There are a number of duas in the Sunnah that the Prophet (Sal Allaahu Alaiyhi wa Sallam) used to make to stay away from and pay off debts.

​Raising tomorrows leaders (18 Tips)By Mufti Ismail Menk

1. Praise your child, even if they get 4/10 in exam, praise your child in front of others.
2. Never make your child feel that he is useless. Never favour one child over the other.
3. Every time we speak with our children speak with respect, say “thank you”, etc. Don’t use slang i.e gimmi instead say ‘please give me’; use clear words, be polite and never swear. (Prophet said, do not use slang as it will decrease your respect).
4. You need to bear in mind when your child is young that this is just a child, don’t take away their playing time by treating them like an adult. If we do this, they will rebel in life.
5. We need to assist our children to make decisions. He or she must be taught to make decisions. Acknowledge them, guide them by talking to them, if they want to go for something, organize the plan for them.
6. Whenever you have decisions to be made ask your child of his or her opinion. For example, if you are going to buy a car, ask their opinion, where they like to eat, or what colour they like for a car, this develops the habit of consultancy in them.
7. Depending on the house we are living in, we would perhaps have a corner; write the name of the child there, as it be their territory. Put their certificates on the wall; this makes them confident of themselves.
8. Teach your child to follow you to read salah. Lead them rather than instructing, it’s a more powerful way. What your child sees you doing they will remember forever. Start instructing them to read salah at the age of 7, this will help them and make it easy for them to follow when they reach puberty when it becomes compulsory on them.
9. We need to teach our children how to put forward their opinion, how you would disagree to a point. Don’t use swear words when you disagree on anything as this will inculcate in your child as he is watching you being aggressive. Children have much more grasping power than us and they pick up things very fast.
10. Encourage your child to ask questions, and try to answer each question they ask else they will get it from a wrong source. Praise their questions at times.
11. Always fulfill your promises on to your children. Do not make big promises which you cannot fulfill; this makes them develop a habit of making false promises. If you fail to fulfill any promise, explain the reason why.
12. Very important to teach our child how to develop skills of being a member of a group. Team work is very important; this teaches them to give chances to people in life rather than always competing.
13. Make dua for your children. Even if they have gone astray, pray for them.
14. Tell them you might fail once, but never lose hope. Teach them how they should react to a failure.
15. Apologize to your child if you have made a mistake, this teaches your child to repent to Allah. Don’t raise ifs and buts when you are wrong; there are no ifs and buts when it comes to repentance.
16. Have a few surprises for your children, to praise their deed of good, give them recognition at home, that this surprise is for you for so and so good you did.
    17.We need to make sure that we train our children to read a portion of Quran daily, according to their capacity.
17. Tell your child repeatedly that you love them, tell them how gorgeous they are and how important they are to you, hug them, its a sunnah to kiss your children. Also teach them to always appreciate any legal gifts by saying thank you.

 

If you feel this message will help one or more of your family or friends, forward this message to them. Perhaps this might be beneficial for them and you will get the ajar for that!
May Allah (swt) bring tranquility and happiness in your family!

Ameeen YAA ALLAH.

​*Keeping Good Companionship*

The salaf used to say that the soul is a thief. It takes the characteristics of those whom it accompanies. If it accompanies evil people, it will become evil, and if it accompanies the righteous, then it will become righteous.

Just as Allāh commanded the Prophet (ṣallallāhu alayhi wa-sallam) to keep companionship with the pious and righteous regardless of their wealth or status so too we are encouraged to keep companionship with the pious, regardless of their wealth or status. Allāh is only concerned with one’s ibādah; He is not concerned with one’s wealth, status or looks. Allāh only looks to one’s deeds.
We are encouraged to keep with the people who makeʿibādah much, even if they are poor. Don’t be fooled by the pump and glitter of this world. The people of the dunyā don’t remind us of the ākhirah; they only make us remember useless things that are devoid of the remembrance of Allāh. They inevitably lead us to the hellfire.
When we leave the companionship of the righteous for the companionship of the people who only desire the dunyā, they will make our hearts become attached to the dunyā. Conversely, if we accompany the righteous, they will remind us of Allāh. They will remind us of the dhikr of Allāh and will keep our hearts focused on the ākirah. They will not tolerate us openly sinning in front of them. These people will lead us to the Jannah.
So it is upon us to choose our companions wisely as they can pave the path to our Jannah or our Jahannum.
https://www.troid.ca/ibadah/advice/to-the-muslims/2450-keeping-good-companionship