Ruling on Husband and Wife Playing while fasting

Praise be to Allaah.  There is nothing wrong with a man playing with his wife, or a wife with her husband, by saying words while fasting, on the condition that there is no danger of either of them climaxing. If there is the danger that they may reach climax, as in the case of one who has strong desires and who fears that if he plays with his wife his fast may be broken by his ejaculating, then it is not permissible for him to do that, because he is exposing his fast to the risk of being broken. The same applies if he fears that he may emit prostatic fluid (madhiy). (al-Sharh al-Mumti’, 6/390).

The evidence that it is permissible to kiss and play with one’s wife, if one is sure that there is no risk of reaching climax, is the report narrated by al-Bukhaari (1927) and Muslim (1106) from ‘Aa’ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) who said: “The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to kiss and touch (his wives) while he was fasting, and he was the most in control of his desires.’” In Saheeh Muslim (1108) it is narrated from ‘Amr ibn Salamah that he asked the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), “Can a fasting person kiss (his wife)?” The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said, “Ask her” – meaning Umm Salamah – and she told him that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to do that.

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) said: “With regard to things other than kissing that may lead to intercourse, such as embracing and the like, we say that the ruling on them is the same as the ruling on kissing, and there is no difference between them.” (al-Sharh al-Mumti’, 6/434).

Based on the above, your simply saying to your husband, “I love you,” or his saying that to you, does not affect your fast. And Allaah knows best.

-Sheikh Muhammed Salih Al-Munajjid

Ruling on fasting for Pregnant women and Breastfeeding mothers

Praise be to Allaah.
With regard to breastfeeding mothers – and also pregnant women – two scenarios may apply:

-1-

If the woman is not affected by fasting, and fasting is not too difficult for her, and she does not fear for her child, then she is obliged to fast, and it is not permissible for her not to fast.

-2-

If the woman fears for herself or her child because of fasting, and fasting is difficult for her, then she is allowed not to fast, but she has to make up the days that she does not fast.

In this situation it is better for her not to fast, and it is makrooh for her to fast. Some of the scholars stated that if she fears for her child, it is obligatory for her not to fast and it is haraam for her to fast.

Al-Mirdaawi said in al-Insaaf (7/382):

It is makrooh for her to fast in this case… Ibn ‘Aqeel said: If a pregnant woman or a breastfeeding mother fears for her pregnancy or her child, then it is not permissible for her to fast in this case, but if she does not fear for her child then it is not permissible for her not to fast.

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) was asked in Fataawa al-Siyaam (p. 161):

If a pregnant woman or breastfeeding mother does not fast with no excuse, and she is strong and in good health, and is not affected by fasting, what is the ruling on that?

He replied:

It is not permissible for a pregnant woman or breastfeeding woman not to fast during the day in Ramadaan unless they have an excuse. If they do not fast because they have an excuse, then they have to make up the missed fasts, because Allaah says concerning one who is sick (interpretation of the meaning):

“and whoever is ill or on a journey, the same number [of days which one did not observe Sawm (fasts) must be made up] from other days”

[al-Baqarah 2:185]

Pregnant women and breastfeeding mothers come under the same heading as those who are sick. If their excuse is that they fear for the child, then as well as making up the missed fasts, according to some scholars they also have to feed one poor person for each day missed, giving wheat, rice, dates or any other staple food. Some of the scholars said that all they have to do is make up the missed fasts, no matter what the situation, because there is no evidence in the Qur’aan or Sunnah for giving food in this case, and the basic principle is that there is no obligation unless proof of that is established. This is the view of Abu Haneefah (may Allaah have mercy on him) and it is a strong view.

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allaah have mercy on him) was also asked in Fataawa al-Siyaam (p. 162) about a pregnant women who fears for herself or her child, and does not fast – what is the ruling?

He replied by saying:

Our answer to this is that one of two scenarios must apply in the case of a pregnant woman.

The first is if she is healthy and strong, and does not find fasting difficult, and it does not affect her foetus. In this case the woman is obliged to fast, because she has no excuse not to do so.

The second is where the pregnant woman is not able to fast, either because the pregnancy is advanced or because she is physically weak, or for some other reason. In this case she should not fast, especially if her foetus is likely to be harmed, in which case it may be obligatory for her not to fast. If she does not fast, then like others who do not fast for a valid reason, she has to make up the days when that excuse no longer applies. When she gives birth, she has to make up those fasts after she becomes pure from nifaas. But sometimes the excuse of pregnancy may be lifted but then immediately followed by another excuse, namely breastfeeding. The breastfeeding mother may need food and drink, especially during the long summer days when it is very hot. So she may need not to fast so that she can nourish her child with her milk. In this case we also say to her: Do not fast, and when this excuse no longer applies, then you should make up the fasts that you have missed.

Shaykh Ibn Baaz said in Majmoo’ al-Fataawa (15/224):

With regard to pregnant women and breastfeeding mothers, it is proven in the hadeeth of Anas ibn Maalik al-Ka’bi, narrated by Ahmad and the authors of al-Sunan with a saheeh isnaad, that the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) granted them a dispensation allowing them not to fast, and he regarded them as being like travelers. From this it is known that they may not fast but they have to make up the fasts later, just like travelers. The scholars stated that they are only allowed not to fast if fasting is too difficult for them, as in the case of one who is sick, or if they fear for their children. And Allaah knows best.

It says in Fataawa al-Lajnah al-Daa’imah (10/226):

The pregnant woman is obliged to fast during her pregnancy, unless she fears that fasting may affect her or her foetus, in which case she is allowed not to fast, and she should make up the fasts after she gives birth and becomes pure from nifaas.

[Islam Q&A]
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…May Allah give us a better understanding & guide us to accept the truth.

HELPING ONE’S WIFE WITH THE HOUSEWORK

Many men think housework is beneath them and some of them think that it will undermine their status and position if they help their wives with this work.

The Messenger of Allaah (may the peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) however, used to
“sew his own clothes, mend his own shoes and do whatever other work men do in their homes.”
This was said by his wife ‘Aishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) when she was asked about what the Messenger of Allaah (may the peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to do in his house, her response was what she herself had seen.

According to another report, she said:
“He (may the peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) was like any other human being: he would clean his clothes, milk his ewe and serve himself.”

She (may Allaah be pleased with her) was also asked about what the messenger of Allaah (may the peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) used to do in his house and she said,
“He used to serve his family and when the time for prayer came, he would go out and pray.”

If we were to do likewise nowadays, we would achieve three things:
i- We would be following the example of the prophet
ii- We would be helping our wives
iii- We would feel more humble, not arrogant.
Some men demand food instantly from their wives, when the pot is on the stove and the baby is screaming to be fed and they do not pick up the baby or wait a little while for the food.

Let these ahadith be a reminder and a lesson.

Culled from the book, “An advice on establishing an Islamic home” by Shaikh Muhammad Salih al-Munajjid


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…May Allah give us a better understanding & guide us to accept the truth

Ruling on Intercourse with a Woman in her Rectum

Please accept my apology if this questions offends, but in the pursuit of Islamic knowledge, we cannot afford to be shy for fear that if we are not well advised, we may commit a sin.
I have been advised by a friend that there is a “qawl” (opinion) among some ulamaa’ (scholars) that it is permissible to conduct anal sex (anal penetration) (between man and wife only) during the time of the wife’s haydh (menstruation).
Is this correct?
Please also advise the laws and penalties relevant to it.

Praise be to Allah.

Your apology is accepted. Striving to understand the rulings of Sharee’ah in this and similar matters is not haraam or shameful; it is necessary.

As regards your question, anal intercourse with one’s wife is a major sin, whether it occurs at the time of menstruation or not. The Prophet SAWS (Peace & Blessings of Allah be upon Him) cursed the one who does this: “Cursed is the one who approaches his wife in her rectum” (Reported by Imaam Ahmad, 2/479; see also Saheeh al-Jaami’, 5865).

The Prophet SAWS (Peace & Blessings of Allah be upon Him) also said: “The one who has intercourse with a menstruating woman, or with a woman in her rectum, or who goes to a fortune-teller, has disbelieved in what was revealed to Muhammad.” (Reported by al-Tirmidhi, no. 1/243; see also Saheeh al-Jaami’, 5918).

In spite of the fact that many wives of sound nature refuse this, there are some husbands who threaten their wives with divorce if they do not obey them (in this matter), and some even deceive their wives, who are too shy to ask scholars about it, into thinking that it is permissible. The Prophet SAWS (Peace & Blessings of Allah be upon Him) said that a man may approach his wife in any way he likes, from the front or the back, so long as intercourse takes place in the place from through which a child is born. There is no doubt that the rectum is the place from which waste matter is expelled, not the place from which a child is born.

Another reason why some may commit this immoral act is that they enter upon what should be a clean married life with some jaahili (ignorant) traditions and odd practices, or with memories of scenes from indecent movies, for which they have not repented to Allaah.

It is known that this act is forbidden even if both partners agree to it. Mutual consent to a haraam deed does not make it halaal.

Ruling on Whistling for Women

I need some help….I have heard that whistling is haram for females bcos its show a negative side of it or smthng….can u please refer to me some hadees and make it clear for me! And also sitting with ur legs cross is a sign of “gharoor”. Also while sitting moving ur feet or legs is not good cos there will b no “barkat” at home. Can u help me and make these 3 thngs clear for me referring to some hadees.

Praise be to Allah.Firstly:

Before looking at minor issues such as these, it should first be understood that the basic principle with regard to acts of worship is that they are not allowed; Allah may only be worshipped in the ways that He has prescribed in His Book or on the lips of His Prophet (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him).

The basic principle concerning customs or traditions is that they are permissible; it is not prohibited to do things that people are accustomed to doing of ordinary things, except on the basis of evidence from sharee‘ah which forbids that. So long as we do not find any such evidence, it is not prohibited to do that thing.

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allah have mercy on him) said:

The basic principle with regard to customs and traditions is that they are permissible, and none of them are to be prohibited except that which Allah has forbidden, otherwise we will become like those referred to in the verse in which Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): “Say (O Muhammad SAW to these polytheists): ‘Tell me, what provision Allah has sent down to you! And you have made of it lawful and unlawful.’ Say (O Muhammad SAW): ‘Has Allah permitted you (to do so), or do you invent a lie against Allah?’” [Yoonus 10:59]. Hence Allah condemned the mushrikeen who ordained as religious practices things for which Allah had not given permission, and they prohibited things that He had not prohibited.

End quote from Majmoo‘ al-Fataawa (29/17)

Shaykh Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) said:

The difference between customs and acts of worship:

Worship is that which Allah and His Messenger have enjoined as a means of drawing closer to Allah and seeking His reward.

Custom is that which people are accustomed to with regard to food, drink, accommodation, clothing, means of transportation, transactions and so on.

There is another difference, which is that the basic principle concerning acts of worship is that they are not allowed and are prohibited unless there is evidence to prove that they are (acceptable) acts of worship, because Allah, may He be exalted, says (interpretation of the meaning): “Or have they partners with Allah (false gods), who have instituted for them a religion which Allah has not allowed” [ash-Shoora 42:21]. As for customs, the basic principle is that they are permissible, unless there is evidence to prove that they are not allowed. Based on that, if the people are accustomed to something and anyone tells them that it is haram, then he is required to produce evidence; it should be said to him: Where is the evidence that it is haram? But in the case of acts of worship, if someone tells a person that a particular act of worship is an innovation, and he says that it is not an innovation, we say to him: Where is the evidence that is it is not an innovation? Because the basic principle with regard to acts of worship is that they are not allowed unless there is evidence to prove that they are Islamically prescribed.

End quote from Liqa’ al-Baab al-Maftooh (72/2)

Secondly:

In the answer to question no. 115403 we discussed the issue of whistling and noted that the scholars differed concerning the ruling on it, but the view that is more likely to be correct is that it is makrooh (disliked) in the case of men.

But in the case of women, it is even more makrooh, and it may be said that it is haram, because it is an action that is not appropriate for women and it is an imitation of men, and indeed of the foolish ones among men, and it is not appropriate for a Muslim woman to do this thing under any circumstances. So the Muslim woman is emphatically disallowed to do this action, especially if that is in a gathering, even if only women are present. If men are present in the gathering, then it is quite obvious that this comes under the heading of obscenity.

Thirdly:

The idea that sitting with the legs crossed is a sign of gharoor (arrogance) is a notion for which there is no evidence. The basic principle concerning traditions and customs is that they are permissible, and this manner of sitting comes under the heading of customs for which no prohibition has been narrated, so it remains as is (i.e., permissible).

Al-Bukhaari (6287) and Muslim (2100) narrated from ‘Abbaad ibn Tameem that his paternal uncle said: I saw the Messenger of Allah (blessings and peace of Allah be upon him) lying on his back in the mosque, putting one leg on top of the other.

In al-Musannaf, Ibn Abi Shaybah narrated a number of reports from the Sahaabah and Taabi‘een, stating that they used to lie on their backs and sit, putting one leg on top of the other, including ‘Umar ibn al-Khattaab, his son ‘Abdullah, Ibn Mas‘ood, Bilaal, Usaamah ibn Zayd, ‘Ikrimah and others.

See: al-Musannaf (5/227-228)

He narrated with a saheeh isnaad (5/228) from al-Hakam that he said: I asked Abu Mijlaz about a man sitting and putting one leg on top of the other. He said: There is nothing wrong with it; rather it is something that the Jews disliked. They said that Allah created the heavens and the earth in six days, then on the Sabbath He rose over the Throne and sat in this manner.

However we must also pay attention to people’s traditions and customs with regard to such matters, which vary from one time and place to another, and one should avoid doing anything that will cause people to think badly or speak badly of him, as much as possible.

It says in Mataalib Ooli an-Nuha (1/351) by ar-Ruhaybaani (may Allah have mercy on him):

Ibn ‘Aqeel said: It is not appropriate to go against people’s customs and traditions, out of consideration towards them and so as to avoid causing offence, except with regard to things that are haraam, if it is customary among them to do such things or not to care about them. In that case it is obligatory to go against them, whether they approve of that or not. End quote.

Ad-Dardeer al-Maaliki (may Allah have mercy on him) said in ash-Sharh as-Sagheer (p. 284):

Dignity means striving to attain a level of perfection by guarding against anything that will incur criticism on the basis of what is customary, even if it appears to be permissible.

End quote.

Ibn ‘Uthaymeen (may Allah have mercy on him) said:

The guideline with regard to dignity is that one should not do or say anything for which people will criticise him.

End quote from ash-Sharh al-Mumti‘ (11/108)

For more information, please see also the answer to question no. 129182

Fourthly:

The idea that moving the feet or legs whilst sitting is not good because it will take away barakah (blessing) from the house is also a notion for which there is no evidence. The basic principle concerning that is that it is permissible, as discussed in detail above.

Whoever says that barakah will be taken away from the house because of this action is inventing an idea for which there is no evidence in the texts and is saying something for which there is no proof.

Fifthly:

With regard to women, a woman should sit in a modest and composed manner, and she should not sit in a manner for which she will be criticised, especially in the presence of men, even if it is basically permissible. Modesty in all things is a sign of dignity.

And Allah knows best.