DID YOU MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON??? (You may be glad YOU read this)

How do you know if you married the right person?

Here’s the answer.

EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked their idiosyncrasies. You simply feel on top of the world as nothing and nobody matters to you anymore like the one you love.

Naam… it’s amazing, since you can’t describe it; isn’t it?

Falling in love with your spouse wasn’t hard. In fact, it was a completely spontaneous experience. You didn’t have to DO anything. That’s why it’s called “falling” in love – because it’s happening TO YOU.

People in love sometimes say, “I was swept off my feet.” Think about the imagery of that expression. It implies that you were just standing there; doing nothing, and then something came along and it happened TO YOU. Quite magnetic, you feel connected with this person even without a touch.

Falling in love is easy. It’s a passive, spontaneous experience. No be so?

But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It’s the natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcomed (when it happens), and your spouse’s idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute, drive you nuts. Everything seemingly hurts.

The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry subsequent stage. The pathetic atmosphere that calls for immediate redress or that constant thought of wanting to quit.

AudhuBiLlaah min dhalik!

At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, “Did I marry the right person?” And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with someone else. This is when marriages break down. This is when divorce sets in. This is when you envy the mirage of others and you Chase the shadows of a love made of TV. People blame their spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for fulfillment. This is the tiny line.

Hmmmmmmn….

Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work, a hobby, a friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances. Some simply run away from home.

Home sweet home, now home sour home!

But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage. It lies within it. I’m not saying that you couldn’t fall in love with someone else. You could. And TEMPORARILY you’d feel better. But you’d be in the same situation a few years later. This is because, THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT ONLY FINDING THE RIGHT PERSON; IT’S ALSO ABOUT LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It’ll NEVER just happen to you. You can’t “find” LASTING love free of traffic. You have to “make” it day in and day out. That’s why we have the expression “the labor of love.” Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

My friend, make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your marriage. One of them is resolving within you to resolve whatever issues revolving around your marriage. Stop the fantasy of other people’s new love’s ecstasy. Wake up in the middle of the night, have some Nawafils and seek the face of the Almighty, Allaah.

Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It’s a direct cause and effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are predictable – you can “make” love out of that swollen heart again.

LET’S do it this way; why not tell your spouse tonight…sweetheart, CAN WE START AFRESH? Whether you have the response you desire doesn’t matter, what matters is your own willing to start afresh. Let that CHANGE BEGINS WITH YOU!

We ask Allaah to help ease the affairs of our homes. Aameen.

Allaahu ul Musta’aan

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…May Allah give us a better understanding & guide us to accept the truth

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Hadith: Tattoo

Narrated Alqama (Radi-Allahu ‘anhu):

‘Abdullah (bin Masud) said. “Allah curses those ladies who practice
tattooing and those who get themselves tattooed, and those ladies who
remove the hair from their faces and those who make artificial spaces
between their teeth in order to look more beautiful whereby they change
Allah’s creation.” His saying reached a lady from Bani Asd called Um Yaqub
who came (to Abdullah) and said, “I have come to know that you have cursed
such-and-such (ladies)?” He replied, “Why should I not curse these whom
Allah’s Apostle has cursed and who are (cursed) in Allah’s Book!” Um Yaqub
said, “I have read the whole Quran, but I did not find in it what you say.”
He said, “Verily, if you have read it (i.e. the Quran), you have found it.
Didn’t you read:

‘And whatsoever the Apostle gives you take it and whatsoever he forbids
you, you abstain (from it).’ (59.7)

She replied, “Yes, I did.” He said, “Verily, Allah’s Apostle forbade such
things.” She said, “But I see your wife doing these things?” He said, “Go
and watch her.” She went and watched her but could not see anything in
support of her statement. On that he said, “If my wife was as you thought,
I would not keep her in my company.”

Bukhari Vol. 6 : No. 408

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…May Allah give us a better understanding & guide us to accept the truth

Duha-Part II: Salatul Duha is a Prized Prayer

Salatul duha is a prized prayer and whoever wishes to earn reward should pray it, while there is no blame upon the one who does not pray it.

Abu Sa’id reports: “The Prophet sallallahu alehi wasallam would pray duha until we thought he would never abandon it. And he would abandon it to the point that we thought he would no longer perform it.” This is related by at-Tirmizhi who says it is hasan.

Anas relates that the Messenger of Allah said: “Prayer in my mosque is equal to ten thousand prayers [elsewhere]. And prayer in the inviolable mosque is equivalent to one hundred thousand prayers [elsewhere]. And prayer in the battlefield is equivalent to one million prayers [elsewhere]. And what is more than all of that is two rak’at by a slave [of Allah] during the middle of the night.” This is reported by Abu ash-Shaikh, Ibn Hibban in his work ath-Thawab, and al-Munzhiri, in his book at-Targhib watTarhib, is silent about it.

Fiqh-us-Sunnah Volume 002, Supererogatory Prayer, Fiqh 2.031

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…May Allah give us a better understanding & guide us to accept the truth

A Cruise Ship’s Story………its Impact in Life

A cruise ship met with an incident at sea, on the ship was a pair of couple, after having made their way to the lifeboat, they realized that there was only space for one person left.

At this moment, the man pushed the woman behind him and jumped onto the lifeboat himself.

The lady stood on the sinking ship and shouted one sentence to her husband.

The teacher stopped and asked, “What do you think she shouted?”

Most of the students excitedly answered, “I hate you! I was blind!”

Now, the teacher noticed a boy who was silent throughout, she got him to answer and he replied, “Teacher, I believe she would have shouted – Take care of our child!”

The teacher was surprised, asking “Have you heard this story before?”

The boy shook his head, “Nope, but that was what my mum told my dad before she died to disease”.

The teacher lamented, “The answer is right”.

The cruise sunk, the man went home and brought up their daughter single-handedly.

Many years later after the death of the man, their daughter found his diary while tidying his belongings.

It turns out that when parents went onto the cruise ship, the mother was already diagnosed with a terminal illness.
At the critical moment, the father rushed to the only chance of survival.

He wrote in his diary, “How I wished to sink to the bottom of the ocean with you, but for the sake of our daughter, I can only let you lie forever below the sea alone”.

The story is finished, the class was silent.

The teacher knows that the student has understood the moral of the story, that of the good and the evil in the world, there are many complications behind them which are hard to understand.

Which is why we should never only focus on the surface and judge others without understanding them first.

Those who like to pay the bill, do so not because they are loaded but because they value friendship above money.

Those who take the initiative at work, do so not because they are stupid but because they understand the concept of responsibility.

Those who apologizes first after a fight, do so not because they are wrong but because they value the people around them.

Those who are willing to help you, do so not because they owe you any thing but because they see you as a true friend.

Those who often text you, do so not because they have nothing better to do but because you are in their heart.
One day, all of us will get separated from each other; we will miss our conversations of everything & nothing; the dreams that we had. Days will pass by, months, years, until this contact becomes rare.
One day our children will see our pictures and ask ‘Who are these people?’ And we will smile with invisible tears because a heart is touched with a strong word and you will say: ‘IT WAS THEM THAT I HAD THE BEST DAYS OF MY LIFE WITH’.

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…May Allah give us a better understanding & guide us to accept the truth

Duha-Part I: The Excellence of the Duha Prayer

Many hadith describe the excellence of the duha prayer.

Abu Zharr reports that the Prophet sallallahu aleihi wasallam said: “Charity is required from every part of your body daily. Every saying of ‘Glory be to Allah’ is charity. Every saying of ‘Praise be to Allah’ is charity. Every saying of ‘There is no God but Allah’ is charity. Every saying of ‘Allah is the Greatest’ is charity. Ordering the good is charity. Eradicating the evil is charity. And what suffices for that (as a charity) are the two rak’at of duha.” This is related by Ahmad, Muslim, and Abu Dawud.

Ahmad and Abu Dawud record from Buraidah that the Prophet sallallahu alehi wasallam said: “In a human (body) there are 360 joints and man must make a charity for each one.” The people said: “Who can do that, O Messenger of Allah?” He responded: “One may cover the mucus that one finds in the mosque or remove something harmful from the road. If one could not do that, he could pray two rak’at of duha and that will be sufficient for him.”

Talking of the legal import of these hadith, ash-Shaukani says: “These two hadith point to the greatness, excellence, and importance of the duha prayer, stressing its legality as its two rak’at suffice for 360 charities. Something like this should be performed regularly and persistently. The hadith also establish the importance of saying ‘Glory be to Allah’, ‘Praise be to Allah’, and ‘There is no God but Allah.’ And [the importance of] ordering the good, eradicating the evil, removing the spittle, removing what is harmful from the path, and such other acts that will fulfill what is required of a person of daily charities.”

An-Nawas ibn Sam’an relates that the Prophet sallallahu alehi wasallam said: “Allah said: ‘Son of Adam, do not fail in performing four rak’at in the early day as it will be sufficient for the latter part of the day.”‘ This is related by al-Hakim and at-Tabarani and its narrators are trustworthy. Ahmad, at-Tirmizhi, Abu Dawud, and an-Nasa’i relate it on the authority of Na’im al-Ghatfani with a good chain. At-Tirmizhi’s wording is: “Son of Adam, pray four rak’at for Me in the early day and it will be sufficient for you for the latter part of the day.”

‘Abdullah ibn ‘Amr says: “The Messenger of Allah sent an expedition and they obtained lots of booty and returned quickly. The people talked about their quick victory, abundant booty, and quick return. At this the Messenger of Allah said: ‘Shall I not guide you to a closer battle, a greater booty and a quicker return? Whoever makes wudu’ and then goes to the mosque to pray duha, that is the closer battle, better booty, and quicker return.”‘ This is related by Ahmad and at-Tabarani. Abu Ya’la has something similar to it.

Abu Hurairah says: “My friend [the Messenger of Allah] advised me to do three things: fasting three days of every month, praying the duha prayer, and praying the witr prayer before I sleep.” This is related by alBukhari and Muslim.

Anas says: “During a journey, I saw the Messenger of Allah pray eight rak’at in the early day. When he finished, he said: ‘I prayed my prayer wishing and fearing. I asked my Lord for three things and He gave me two and withheld one. I asked Him not to put my ummah to trial by famine and He granted that request. And I asked that they would not be overtaken by their enemies and He granted that request. And I asked that they not be split into groups and parties and He refused that request.”‘ This is related by Ahmad, an-Nasa’i, al-Hakim, and ibn Khuzaimah who classifies it as sahih.

Fiqh-us-Sunnah Volume 002, Supererogatory Prayer, Fiqh 2.029A

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…May Allah give us a better understanding & guide us to accept the truth