For every successful man, there is a woman behind him, for more success, marry more women if you would be just between them. When a man marries more women, their rizq will be placed under him, hence wider opportinities will be opened for him.
Ibn abass radiAllah anhu said,
Marry, for the best person in this ummah had the most wives (sahih bukhari 5069).
Romance is not only in monogamy, romance is even more needed in polygamy, for a stable and lovely atmosphere either the wives are all in one house or separate houses.
The prophet sallalahu alayhi wassalam was able to live with them all without making them cry, but romeo made juliet cry several times.
Yet people prefer the latter to the former.
Imam Ahmad bin hanbal rahimahuLlah said:
Monasticism has nothing to do with islam, the prophet married 14 women and he died leaving 9 of them behind, he used to wake up in the morning and his family would have nothing to eat and sometimes go to bed without anything to eat, yet he chose marriage and encouraged others to marry. (kitab al wara 116).
No marriage is perfect at all.
A monogamy may be sweet while a polygyny is tough, and a polygamy may be smooth while a monogamy may even lead to fights and divorce.
Yet women still prefer monogamy no matter what. Its because of the what some of the men of today has turned polygamy into. So women now prefer a brutal husband than having co-wives.
It was narrated:
A man was once flogging his wife, so another man was passing and said:
Don’t beat her, animals are meant to be punished with stick, but as for women, punish them with other women (co-wives).
The husband said to the wise man:
I don’t understand what you said?
The wife said:
My husband, continue flogging me, and don’t mind that foolish man. (Rawdatul uqalaa, p76).
Hence, an average woman of today prefers a brutal monogamy than a peaceful polygamy .
The prophet was very just and had a very romanic home, for instance:
1)Anas ibn malik said:
The prophet would go to his wives every morning from one room to another greeting them one by one (sahih bukhari, tafsir of ahzab 6/941)
How many men greet their wives today?
2)Aisha radiallahu anha:
The prophet used to cast lots between his wives before going out, once he did it and the lots chose hafsah and myself, so in the evening we both went on a stroll with him (muslim 2445).
How many men go out strolling with their wives today?
If you see a couple strolling in d evening today, its not bcos they are romantic, they are only waiting for the smell of the otapia-pia(insecticide ) they sprayed inside d house to vanish.
3)Anas ibn malik:
Every evening, all the wives of the prophet would gather in the room of the person whose turn it is to spend the night with the prophet sallalahu alayhi wassalam (sahih muslim 1462).
How sweet, they would all gather there gisting and discussing and making the person happy. What a sisterhood!
4)Aisha radiAllaha said:
One day, sawdah visited my apartment, so the prophet came and sat between me and her, putting one leg on her laps and another on top of my laps. I went to get the khazirah(food) I prepared and I told her to eat but she refused. I said:
If you don’t eat, I will stain your face with it, but she rejected my offer. So I dipped my hand in the food and threw it at her face. The prophet laughed and gave her his own food too, she used it to stain my face too and we continued that way. (Silsilatul ahadeeth as-saheehah 7/363).
This is a summary of the bliss in that polygamous home even though they had their negative sides too.
Zaid ibn aslam said:
When the prophet was in his final illness, all his wives surrounded him, he was in so much pains, so safiyyah said,
Oh prophet of Allah, wallahi, I wish I could be in your position so that I will suffer this illness on your behalf.
The other wives hissed at her.
The prophert said, go and wash your mouthes. They said, from what?
He said, because you hissed at her, wallahi, she was truthful, she meant what she said.
(Akhrojahu Ibn sa’ad, 8/821).
Today, if a man has four wives, he can beautify his marriage by:
1)Having a family halqah every evening, he is the amir, he gives them lectures to present and teaches them.
2)Whenever he travels, they won’t feel too lonely as they can discuss with eachother, its a full house.
3)He can open a whatsapp group where he gists with all his wives simultaneously.
4)Since they are plenty, they can share chores at times : one does the cooking, another does the cleaning, another drives to the market to buy food items and another handles the kids.
No matter what, a man can’t still be 100% just regarding women.
Yahya bin sa’eed said:
Muadh bin jabal had two wives, whenever its the turn of one of them, he would not even perform ablution or even drink water in the house of the other wife, when the plague in syria occured, both wives died the same day, the graveyards were filled as many muslims were busy burying their deads, so muadh had no option than to bury them in the same grave, so he casted lots to know which one to be buried first, so they were both buried in one grave (hilyah al awliya).
Look at how just muadh was to his two wives, many men today take justice with levity, when they marry a new wife, they forget the old one. When he goes out, he goes with the new wife, he feels the first wife is no longer “presentable”.
Imam bin kathir said:
If any man transgress against his wives without justification, Allah is their protector and he will revenge against such men. (Tafsir ibn kathir 4: 34).
The mistake many men make is that they marry different categories of women into one home, for instance:
He marries, a lousy woman, a swagger woman, a rugged mama-G and a religious woman. How do you expect this different women to exist peacefully in one home?
Its like signing your own death certificate.
Umar ibn khattab said:
Oh my son, the wife of a man is the tranquility of his heart and there is no joy in quarelling with her always, so if you want to marry a woman, then ask about her family first, because it is the good roots that bears the sweet fruits, also know that women are different from one another just as the fingers on the hand are different from eachother.
(Rawdhat al uqala, part 11/12)
In sunah al kubra li bayhaqi, 13480, umar also said:
Wallahi, some women are like burdens and shackles around the neck and you can’t free yourself from their troubles while some few other women are so fantastic and amazing, that they can’t be replaced, simply IRREPLACEABLE.
Ihdina Siratal mustaqinah.
Compiled by Abu Unaysah.